My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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