Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
