Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Terrible idea I love it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
