we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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