Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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