so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
