They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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