VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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