I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
