is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
