Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
