you would pick up someone in the library
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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