last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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