Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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