I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
