just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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