i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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