im so drunk with asians
where?
always
cat food counts as protein by the way
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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