I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You work out of a Hotel?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
