I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
