I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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