that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
PANTIES FOUND
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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