wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
