The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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