I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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