so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
