This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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