I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize