Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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