I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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