dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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