I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize