peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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