Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
