i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
