My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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