Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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