The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Welp...herpes.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
