We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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