I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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