Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen