Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.