i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
