he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.