sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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