spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
