He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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