so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
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I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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