I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life