at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
