i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.