There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
