Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i came on her dog
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
