I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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