we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize