I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
