The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
