yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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