I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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