apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
