At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
