I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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