How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Randomize
