I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
