id be glad to
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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