she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
