I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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