Ambien. No doubt about it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
