i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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