Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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