apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
